It's newsletter time! If you'd like a copy and are not on my email list, please email me and I'll send one right over! (ali.c.campbell@gmail.com)
So, thought for today: I've lost a lot coming to Costa Rica. I've lost my beautiful Jeep Cherokee Sport. I've lost day to day life with my family, friends and Young Life kids in Westfield. I've lost the ability to get Taco Bell at 1 a.m. I've lost the freedom to go wherever, whenever, with whomever I want. I've lost a sense of stability. I've lost a sense of security. I've lost a sense of blissful ignorance. I've lost some independence. I've lost some financial "freedom." I've lost the ability to choose what I want to wear. I've lost a lot.
But I've gained Jesus. Now to some that might sound corny and to others a little crazy. But it's really true. Here's a bit from a study I'm doing right now:
"We are so oriented to a quick response we abandon the word from God long before He has developed our character...When you make the adjustments and start to obey Him, you come to know Him by experience. This is the goal of God's activity in your life--that you come to know Him."
In my life in the U.S., I think I often sought a quick response from God and in the process missed wonderful opportunities for Him to develop my character. But not here, there is nothing quick about life here and there is nothing quick about the pace of ministry. And as I've started to make some adjustments and obey Him even when it seems crazy or a waste of time, I've come to know Him through experience.
Through experiencing God more and more each day. So yes, I've lost a lot. And some days the scales seem unbalanced and I focus more on that than what I'm gaining. And I pray on those days, this would be my strength:
But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him...
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
-Phillipians 3:7-9a, 12-14
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
I can't help but share....
...sometimes I can't decide the purpose of this blog. Why do I write? To share how God is moving through Young Life Costa Rica, to update those of you who pray for and support the way He's changing lives, to journal my thoughts, to learn...who knows!
But tonite, I can't help but share, so I guess tonite this is my journal. Because God's teaching me so much, and showing me so much, and bringing clarity to unclear things. And He's doing that through some pretty AMAZING women.
So first, Katie, who has the amazing privilege of being a mother to 14 children in Africa and work through her organization, Amazima, to bring food, healing and love to an entire community. She's AMAZING not for what she does...though it's incredible...but for WHO she is and what God is doing in her. Allow me to quote from her blog (kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com):
"And it hurts from the moment I wake up until the moment my head hits the pillow." I hear you sister!
"But in the hard I see the healing. In the mess of it all, I see the redemption." YES! Yes, and I want to see it more and more each day!
"One step forward. Two steps back. And He doesn't let go. He doesn't let go...The thing is this is real life and so there is this huge grey area in the middle and that's where we are living."
"He always provides, exactly enough, exactly what is needed. He asks me to take this next step and I protest, 'but I don't have enough!' Not enough grace, not enough love, not enough strength, not enough time. And the widow reminds me to be faithful anyway [1 Kings 17]. Of course I do not have enough! But I have Jesus and He, He is always enough." I feel that way so many days...I don't have enough energy, I don't have enough patience, I don't have enough love. God, help me to remember that You are MORE THAN ENOUGH.
"I give Him....hurt that draws us closer." May I always give HIM my hurt! BECAUSE...
"In light of eternity, nothing else matters." Nothing, absolutely nothing, that seems important, or annoying, or painful, or downright unjust matters in light of eternity.
--AND--
"I can trust God. I look at my life and I see the miracles and because of what I know, I can trust Him for what I don't know. Because of what I've seen, I can trust Him when I can't see." I can't see, God. I can't see the solution to all the hard, hurtful things in my life. I can't see the end. I can't see the answers. I can't see a way out. I can't see an easy day. I can't see...but because of what I've seen, I can trust Him.
FINALLY...
"When I don't know what else to be, I am thankful." Oh, that this would be true of me! Oh, that this would be my attitude each day! Oh, that I would embrace a lifestyle of thanksgiving!
I've been reading Lamentations 3 a lot lately and I'm struck by this...
"And why would anyone gifted with life, complain when punished by sin." -v. 9 Praying today to embrace God's correction, His teaching, His immense PATIENCE and MERCY in my life.
I've been reading this book called "Dancing on My Ashes: Learning to love the One who gives and takes away" and it's teaching me so much about loss and healing. Today, I read:
"When I was wounded, I thought I had to forget my wounds existed so I could heal. I waited to feel untouched, unhurt, undamaged, and unharmed in any way. My wounds started to heal, but they left these ugly scars in their place. I learned that proof of our healing is in our scars. Jesus carried around proof of His wounds in His nail-scarred hands and sword-pierced side, and because of His scars, I see the significance in my own. Our scars give us opportunity to remember. It's not about obsessing over our past, or the opposite, acting as if our wounds never existed; it's about remembering them. I'm not wounded anymore. Scarred? Yes...But these scars represent the promise of healing."
WOW! It's as if she spoke (or God spoke!) right into my life. There are scars in my life that I hate. I want to feel untouched, unhurt, undamaged, unharmed. But the scars are proof that the wound is healed. Proof that God truly has touched those places in my life and healed them. The scar scares me...because it's permanent, or because it reminds me of past pain or mistakes, or because I fear the future...but what a different perspective she has! I pray that I can view my scars as she does.
And finally, I've been drawn to the book of Job lately. Through this book, but through other things too.
"He tears me down on every side until I am gone." Job 19:10
Until I am gone. I'm learning to find joy in the midst of this process. I'm learning to find peace in the midst of the pain. I'm learning that this is God's good, pleasing and perfect will in my life. And nothing else matters in light of eternity.
But tonite, I can't help but share, so I guess tonite this is my journal. Because God's teaching me so much, and showing me so much, and bringing clarity to unclear things. And He's doing that through some pretty AMAZING women.
So first, Katie, who has the amazing privilege of being a mother to 14 children in Africa and work through her organization, Amazima, to bring food, healing and love to an entire community. She's AMAZING not for what she does...though it's incredible...but for WHO she is and what God is doing in her. Allow me to quote from her blog (kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com):
"And it hurts from the moment I wake up until the moment my head hits the pillow." I hear you sister!
"But in the hard I see the healing. In the mess of it all, I see the redemption." YES! Yes, and I want to see it more and more each day!
"One step forward. Two steps back. And He doesn't let go. He doesn't let go...The thing is this is real life and so there is this huge grey area in the middle and that's where we are living."
"He always provides, exactly enough, exactly what is needed. He asks me to take this next step and I protest, 'but I don't have enough!' Not enough grace, not enough love, not enough strength, not enough time. And the widow reminds me to be faithful anyway [1 Kings 17]. Of course I do not have enough! But I have Jesus and He, He is always enough." I feel that way so many days...I don't have enough energy, I don't have enough patience, I don't have enough love. God, help me to remember that You are MORE THAN ENOUGH.
"I give Him....hurt that draws us closer." May I always give HIM my hurt! BECAUSE...
"In light of eternity, nothing else matters." Nothing, absolutely nothing, that seems important, or annoying, or painful, or downright unjust matters in light of eternity.
--AND--
"I can trust God. I look at my life and I see the miracles and because of what I know, I can trust Him for what I don't know. Because of what I've seen, I can trust Him when I can't see." I can't see, God. I can't see the solution to all the hard, hurtful things in my life. I can't see the end. I can't see the answers. I can't see a way out. I can't see an easy day. I can't see...but because of what I've seen, I can trust Him.
FINALLY...
"When I don't know what else to be, I am thankful." Oh, that this would be true of me! Oh, that this would be my attitude each day! Oh, that I would embrace a lifestyle of thanksgiving!
I've been reading Lamentations 3 a lot lately and I'm struck by this...
"And why would anyone gifted with life, complain when punished by sin." -v. 9 Praying today to embrace God's correction, His teaching, His immense PATIENCE and MERCY in my life.
I've been reading this book called "Dancing on My Ashes: Learning to love the One who gives and takes away" and it's teaching me so much about loss and healing. Today, I read:
"When I was wounded, I thought I had to forget my wounds existed so I could heal. I waited to feel untouched, unhurt, undamaged, and unharmed in any way. My wounds started to heal, but they left these ugly scars in their place. I learned that proof of our healing is in our scars. Jesus carried around proof of His wounds in His nail-scarred hands and sword-pierced side, and because of His scars, I see the significance in my own. Our scars give us opportunity to remember. It's not about obsessing over our past, or the opposite, acting as if our wounds never existed; it's about remembering them. I'm not wounded anymore. Scarred? Yes...But these scars represent the promise of healing."
WOW! It's as if she spoke (or God spoke!) right into my life. There are scars in my life that I hate. I want to feel untouched, unhurt, undamaged, unharmed. But the scars are proof that the wound is healed. Proof that God truly has touched those places in my life and healed them. The scar scares me...because it's permanent, or because it reminds me of past pain or mistakes, or because I fear the future...but what a different perspective she has! I pray that I can view my scars as she does.
And finally, I've been drawn to the book of Job lately. Through this book, but through other things too.
"He tears me down on every side until I am gone." Job 19:10
Until I am gone. I'm learning to find joy in the midst of this process. I'm learning to find peace in the midst of the pain. I'm learning that this is God's good, pleasing and perfect will in my life. And nothing else matters in light of eternity.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
There's beauty in the breakdown
...that's a line from an old Dido song. I don't really care for the song, but there's just something about that line, it's burned into my soul. I've been seeing some beautiful things in the midst of my own "breakdown" here in Costa Rica. As the layers are slowly pulled away, and scabs on old scars are scratched until they bleed, there is something beautiful in the rawness underneath. There's something ugly there too.
You know how some decisions you make and you aren't really sure why, but it just seems to carry some weight. It could be going to the grocery store at a certain time, or choosing chicken instead of fish. An everyday decision that comes to carry with it something important, something of consequence.
Last Saturday I had a sleepover with some of the other girls on Vida Joven staff. It was SO fun! We watched the first soccer game held in the newly completed national stadium here in Costa Rica, then a very interesting comedy (in Spanish!), and then I was off to bed early because I had decided to skip the morning activities on Sunday to go to church with my friend Sunshine. We just started going to a new church here in search of the elusive 20-somethings Christian community here.
I'm SO GLAD I chose to go to church last Sunday...to get up early, take a bus from the other side of town to downtown to catch a bus to my side of town to meet my friend and get in a taxi to arrive for the Sunday a.m. service. Why?
Because there's beauty in the breakdown. There's a problem in our world--a Big One--and it's ruining lives, marriages, families. It's not new. It's not specific to a certain culture or gender. It's a characteristic of the human experience--the breakdown of relationships, the failing of relationships. Friendships, dating relationships, marriages, families.
I thought it odd that the senior pastor, Ricardo, of the biggest of a chain of churches here called Vida Abundante (Abundant Life) had come to one of the smaller churches in the chain. (Ricardo is the pastor of Vida Abundante in Coronado and I just started attending Vida Abundante del Este.) Ricardo was missing being with his congregation of 5,000+ to visit ours of 500+. He opened with, "Es un dia muy dificil para la iglesia." It's a very hard day for the church. Immediately your heart beats quicker, waiting, anticipating the bad news.
The senior pastor, Carlos, of this church I had just started attending had committed a "grave moral error" and had resigned his position.
A grave moral error. By way of the apologies that followed from Carlos to his family, to the church, one can imagine what the grave moral error was that prompted his daughter to tell him, "You have failed as a man. But not as a dad." Broken relationships, broken marriage, broken family, broken church. Carlos choked his way through the apology then Ricardo returned to give the message.
He spoke of our identity in Christ. He said we must first have an accurate picture, perception of Christ before we can have an accurate picture, perception of ourselves. His message was full of truth, full of grace, and full of hope. Then he played a song with the lyrics, "Saname..." Cleanse me, heal me. And then he asked the church to get on their knees before God and ask Him to heal the church, to restore and heal Carlos and his family.
I haven't seen a more beautiful picture of undeserved, unconditional love and true, unrelenting grace in quite some time. THIS is how the church responds to brokenness, THIS is the BEAUTY of God and redemption and hope for the future. Tears fell from my eyes as I witnessed brokenness and ashes being turned into and traded for beauty.
It was a practical and overwhelming representation of what God is doing in MY life. Of the stories He is putting in front of me of heartache, of tragedy, of unspeakable loss, of overwhelming failure, of the frailty of humanity. And how in each tear, in each piece of a broken heart, in each shard of glass shattered in anger, God can turn it into something so beautiful, so new, so whole that you have to stand in awe, fall before His feet, and know that it is the most real thing you've ever seen or experienced.
There IS beauty in the breakdown. There IS hope in tragedy and failure. There IS comfort for unspeakable pain. And there IS hope for change and a new tomorrow.
You know how some decisions you make and you aren't really sure why, but it just seems to carry some weight. It could be going to the grocery store at a certain time, or choosing chicken instead of fish. An everyday decision that comes to carry with it something important, something of consequence.
Last Saturday I had a sleepover with some of the other girls on Vida Joven staff. It was SO fun! We watched the first soccer game held in the newly completed national stadium here in Costa Rica, then a very interesting comedy (in Spanish!), and then I was off to bed early because I had decided to skip the morning activities on Sunday to go to church with my friend Sunshine. We just started going to a new church here in search of the elusive 20-somethings Christian community here.
I'm SO GLAD I chose to go to church last Sunday...to get up early, take a bus from the other side of town to downtown to catch a bus to my side of town to meet my friend and get in a taxi to arrive for the Sunday a.m. service. Why?
Because there's beauty in the breakdown. There's a problem in our world--a Big One--and it's ruining lives, marriages, families. It's not new. It's not specific to a certain culture or gender. It's a characteristic of the human experience--the breakdown of relationships, the failing of relationships. Friendships, dating relationships, marriages, families.
I thought it odd that the senior pastor, Ricardo, of the biggest of a chain of churches here called Vida Abundante (Abundant Life) had come to one of the smaller churches in the chain. (Ricardo is the pastor of Vida Abundante in Coronado and I just started attending Vida Abundante del Este.) Ricardo was missing being with his congregation of 5,000+ to visit ours of 500+. He opened with, "Es un dia muy dificil para la iglesia." It's a very hard day for the church. Immediately your heart beats quicker, waiting, anticipating the bad news.
The senior pastor, Carlos, of this church I had just started attending had committed a "grave moral error" and had resigned his position.
A grave moral error. By way of the apologies that followed from Carlos to his family, to the church, one can imagine what the grave moral error was that prompted his daughter to tell him, "You have failed as a man. But not as a dad." Broken relationships, broken marriage, broken family, broken church. Carlos choked his way through the apology then Ricardo returned to give the message.
He spoke of our identity in Christ. He said we must first have an accurate picture, perception of Christ before we can have an accurate picture, perception of ourselves. His message was full of truth, full of grace, and full of hope. Then he played a song with the lyrics, "Saname..." Cleanse me, heal me. And then he asked the church to get on their knees before God and ask Him to heal the church, to restore and heal Carlos and his family.
I haven't seen a more beautiful picture of undeserved, unconditional love and true, unrelenting grace in quite some time. THIS is how the church responds to brokenness, THIS is the BEAUTY of God and redemption and hope for the future. Tears fell from my eyes as I witnessed brokenness and ashes being turned into and traded for beauty.
It was a practical and overwhelming representation of what God is doing in MY life. Of the stories He is putting in front of me of heartache, of tragedy, of unspeakable loss, of overwhelming failure, of the frailty of humanity. And how in each tear, in each piece of a broken heart, in each shard of glass shattered in anger, God can turn it into something so beautiful, so new, so whole that you have to stand in awe, fall before His feet, and know that it is the most real thing you've ever seen or experienced.
There IS beauty in the breakdown. There IS hope in tragedy and failure. There IS comfort for unspeakable pain. And there IS hope for change and a new tomorrow.
"I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes,
the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it well--oh, how well I remember--
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
His merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning! How great your faithfulness!
the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it well--oh, how well I remember--
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
His merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning! How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God. (I say it over and over.) He's all I've got left."
-Lamentations 19-24 (MSG)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
How much fun can you have with a bean bag??!!
What a busy month it's been! But full of fun and rewarding things! First off, let me tell you about a few things we've been doing with Young Life....then stay tuned for some more updates soon.
The last few Young Life's have ben full of fun, adventure, some new faces and a lot of great conversations, opportunities for growth with kids.
We had Bean Bag O'Rama...a highlight of our spring semester....a few weeks ago. Two teams split up (girls v. boys) to complete the ultimate photo scavenger hunt around the town of Escazu in one hour. Some of the more hilarious items included: steal a kid who has never been to Young Life before and bring them back with you, take a picture with a live chicken, take a picture with a sushi chef, take a picture with all of your team's feet in a pool!
The girls' team stole Nick, a kid who has only been here in Costa Rica for a few months, and brought him back to club. Nick goes to an international school here that is mostly Tico and all the guys speak Spanish most of the time. It's been really rough on him trying to learn the language, adjust to a new culture, and make friends. Nick has been back to ever club since then and is loving his new friends in Young Life!
Here's what one of our guys had to say about the night:
"From stepping on hobos to singing the a,b,c's to jumping over tennis fences. That brown bean bag has seen it ALL! We all laughed till it hurt, almost got hit by bus and had the most random AWESOME time of our lives. Two things we should of taken photos of: The hobo sleeping next to a fire hydrant, and the peoples faces when they saw us run around with a bean bag. Oh younglife we wouldnt have you any diffrent. :)"
I love watching kids love life together...having good, clean fun...and at the end of it all hearing an awesome message like the one Josh gave that night about how Jesus is more powerful than we could ever imagine and that He has the power to change our lives if we will let Him.
Then this past week we had YL Broomball: a game with brooms and a small styrofoam ball. The kids played til they broke more than one broom and collapsed in exhaustion and laughter! For me, the best thing was not playing the game, but hanging out on the sidelines with four girls who weren't up for the challenge. Three of the girls are regular club girls and the other is a fair-weathered friend who we haven't seen in a few months. But what GREAT conversations I had with the girls...everything from body image, taste in music, Jonas Brothers v. Justin Beiber, to what they are struggling with in life.
This is the stuff Young Life is made of and why I love being here in Costa Rica!! The YL tagline is "You were made for this" and I wholeheartedly believe that through fun, adventure, deep relationships and sharing truth and hope with teens here in Costa Rica we are helping them discover what they were made for!
Here's some pics from Bean Bag O'Rama!
Below: The girls' team and the fine folks of the Escazu police department!
Left: Girls with Nick, our new friend.
Left: Me, Roxanne, Paola, and Rosalie. Roxanne and Rosalie are twin girls who came with their older sister, Maude. Roxanne and Rosalie are not regular club attenders, but came out for Bean Bag O'Rama. Our goal with events like this is to bring kids who have never been to club or don't come regularly. Please be praying for these new faces!!
The last few Young Life's have ben full of fun, adventure, some new faces and a lot of great conversations, opportunities for growth with kids.
We had Bean Bag O'Rama...a highlight of our spring semester....a few weeks ago. Two teams split up (girls v. boys) to complete the ultimate photo scavenger hunt around the town of Escazu in one hour. Some of the more hilarious items included: steal a kid who has never been to Young Life before and bring them back with you, take a picture with a live chicken, take a picture with a sushi chef, take a picture with all of your team's feet in a pool!
The girls' team stole Nick, a kid who has only been here in Costa Rica for a few months, and brought him back to club. Nick goes to an international school here that is mostly Tico and all the guys speak Spanish most of the time. It's been really rough on him trying to learn the language, adjust to a new culture, and make friends. Nick has been back to ever club since then and is loving his new friends in Young Life!
Here's what one of our guys had to say about the night:
"From stepping on hobos to singing the a,b,c's to jumping over tennis fences. That brown bean bag has seen it ALL! We all laughed till it hurt, almost got hit by bus and had the most random AWESOME time of our lives. Two things we should of taken photos of: The hobo sleeping next to a fire hydrant, and the peoples faces when they saw us run around with a bean bag. Oh younglife we wouldnt have you any diffrent. :)"
I love watching kids love life together...having good, clean fun...and at the end of it all hearing an awesome message like the one Josh gave that night about how Jesus is more powerful than we could ever imagine and that He has the power to change our lives if we will let Him.
Then this past week we had YL Broomball: a game with brooms and a small styrofoam ball. The kids played til they broke more than one broom and collapsed in exhaustion and laughter! For me, the best thing was not playing the game, but hanging out on the sidelines with four girls who weren't up for the challenge. Three of the girls are regular club girls and the other is a fair-weathered friend who we haven't seen in a few months. But what GREAT conversations I had with the girls...everything from body image, taste in music, Jonas Brothers v. Justin Beiber, to what they are struggling with in life.
This is the stuff Young Life is made of and why I love being here in Costa Rica!! The YL tagline is "You were made for this" and I wholeheartedly believe that through fun, adventure, deep relationships and sharing truth and hope with teens here in Costa Rica we are helping them discover what they were made for!
Here's some pics from Bean Bag O'Rama!
Below: The girls' team and the fine folks of the Escazu police department!
Monday, February 21, 2011
February newsletter, pictures and more!
Hmm...I've realized that title is a bit of a tease because I'm not actually going to give you **here** my February newsletter or more pictures. BUT I am going to re-direct you! For a copy of my newsletter, email me at ali.c.campbell@gmail.com. (I rarely post newsletters here for confidential purposes since I work with youth.)
AND, for pictures from:
Th-, Th-, Th-- that's all folks!
AND, for pictures from:
- my recent hike up the Tres Cruces/Three Crosses mountain
- a beach weekend at Playa Hermosa
- Wet & Wyld Wyldlife and Young Life training
Th-, Th-, Th-- that's all folks!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Facing the ugly stuff
Disclaimer: Hang in there, it's a long one. But a good one.
There are a million things I want to share with you at the moment! (In particular, a recent hike up a mountain...yes, I, Ali Campbell, hiked a mountain :) But I feel compelled first to share with you something I was reading this morning. Well, a few things I was reading this morning.
First, my old trusty, My Utmost For His Highest. To read today's words of wisdom, go here: http://utmost.org/. Today's verse is:
Arise and eat. -1 Kings 19:5
I found this rather comical because Oswald was talking about seasons of depression today. No one has to order me to "arise and eat" when I'm depressed...in fact, I excel at it! The past two weeks I've managed to polish off a medium-sized bag of Peanut M & Ms, a slightly smaller bag of Sour Patch Kids, macaroni & cheese, pizza, and countless Oreos. It's been Round 2 of rough times in Costa Rica and Round 2 of junk-food/Dawson's Creek escapism.
Oswald's words were comforting this morning because he reminded me that depression (or sadness, loss, etc.) are part of the human experience. He writes, "If human beings were not capable of depression, we would have no capacity for happiness and exaltation." Thank goodness! Has anyone out there ever felt alone in the fight against discouragement, sadness or depression? It's good to know (1) I'm not alone, and (2) If it weren't for my capacity to feel depressed, I'd also never feel happiness.
Oswald goes on to say something incredible:
When the Spirit of God comes to us, He does not give us glorious visions, but He tells us to do the most ordinary things imaginable. Depression tends to turn us away from the everyday things of God’s creation. But whenever God steps in, His inspiration is to do the most natural, simple things-things we would never have imagined God was in, but as we do them we find Him there.
I don't believe he was telling me to feast on Oreos, but how true is it that when we face a season of depression it is the simple, every-day things where we find God. For me, I've been finding God each and every time I make the slightest step toward Him. When I say, God, I can't get through today and more than that I don't want to. Just for talking to Him, just for sharing my thoughts and feelings, He always surprises me with something sweet--a free sucker at the little store at my school, a message from a YL/WL kid or friend on Facebook, my host mom cooking my favorite dinner, whatever. AND I SEE HIM IN IT! These are not coincidences, but God saying...keeping going, one foot in front of the other, just keeping walking toward Me.
Okay, next I read a sweet devotion by Joni Eareckson Tada called Pearls of Great Price. Today's devotion is based on 2 Corinthians 12:8-9, which says:
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
She was talking about hardships that hang on, hardships that never go away...no matter how much we pray and plead for God to take them away or heal us. I've been struggling with some personal weakness lately and wondering why God won't take them away. I certainly would be able to follow Him better, reflect His goodness and grace better, and share His life and joy with kids better if He would just TAKE THEM AWAY! Ever tried to barter with God? Then get frustrated and just yell at him? Then resign yourself to pleading and begging and crying, just to revisit anger again?
If you don't know anything about Joni Earekson Tada, she suffered a spinal cord injury as a teenager that left her paralyzed in a wheelchair. I've just read one biography of hers, but from what I gather, she struggled for months and years to come to grips with the fact that she would never walk again, that this was a hardship God wasn't going to remove from her life. She writes:
The core of God's plan is to rescue us from sin and self-centeredness. Suffering--especially the chronic kind--is God's choicest tool to accomplish this. It is a long process. But it means I can accept my paralysis as a chronic condition. When I broke my neck, it wasn't a jigsaw puzzle I had to solve fast or a quick jolt to get me back on track. My paralyzing accident was the beginning of a lengthy process of becoming like Christ.
How easy I forget that learning Spanish, adjusting to Costa Rican culture, making friends in a new community, building relationships with kids and ministry opportunities, and especially, becoming more and more like Christ is a LONG PROCESS. Jeesh, I've been here 6 months, you'd think I'd have it figured out already! My own personal struggles/weaknesses and the evil one's voice whisper in my ear: "You aren't good enough. You'll never be as good as so-and-so. You'll keep failing, you'll never be perfect. It will always be this hard. Nothing you are doing is making a difference. It would be better if you left, or if you'd never come. You disappoint everyone around you, and most of all, God."
What lies! What awful lies we listen to and we tell ourselves. The truth is that God meets us where we are, but doesn't leave us there:
And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him. -2 Corinthians 3:18 (MSG)
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4 (NIV)
Finally, the inspired, and dare I say brilliant, lyrics of Derek Webb from his second album, I See Things Upside Down, and third album, Mockingbird.
"Cause it's been one of those kinds of days, and I feel so out of place...and the whole world is on my case...and I hate everything, everything. I hate everything, but You." -I Hate Everything (But You),
Mockingbird
"Don't paint my face, I need to see the scars so i don't forget, the back of my tutor's arm...I don’t want medication, just give me liberation even if it cuts my legs right out from underneath...I want the real sensation, even when living feels just like death to me." -Medication, I See Things Upside Down
Today, may you hear wisdom in people like Oswald Chambers and Joni Earekson Tada, truth instead of lies, great and inspiring music...and that you are a work in progress, like me, like everyone. And in the midst of the struggle, arise and eat (maybe just not a whole bag of peanut M & Ms :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
"Sorpresas" y Bendiciones y Carne bien cocido!
"Surprises" and Blessings and Well-done Meat! Just wanted to share a bit about our leader retreat this past weekend and a Spanish snafu in class.
This past weekend was the long-awaited, long-anticipated (at least for me) Young Life Spring semester leader retreat to fellowship and plan for this upcoming semester. I worked for countless hours the last couple of weeks helping to plan the schedule, training sessions, planning sessions, and some logistics. Don't get me wrong, I had some awesome help from Josh, our intern, and Boo, the Tico guy I work with. However, Jessie (my supervisor and area director) has been in the States for several weeks for Young Life training and so I felt the weight of the weekend falling on my shoulders.
Like the best laid plans, they sort of crumbled. Unfortunately, we had some leaders back out at the last minute (and others who couldn't come originally) and so we had FAR fewer numbers than anticipated, which was a little disappointing for a number of reasons. Not the least of those reasons was I was looking forward to some great team-building time. But God always has something up His sleeve, and I was blessed more than I can say by those who were able to come. We were able to not only plan 95% of what needed to be planned, but also have some great time just hanging out.
I laughed a lot. We played football and watched a movie. I got some awesome girl talk time in with one of my favorite ladies here. And we planned 15+ Young Life and WyldLife clubs, among other things. Score: 1 for God, .5 for Ali (I did manage to get over my disappointment and jump into what GOD had planned for the weekend faster than normal, so I get half a point :)
Okay, on to part 2: My latest Spanish language snafu. The task was to answer this question:
"Que esperanza tiene usted?"
"What hope/wish do you have?"
Because of the type of verb we were studying, I was supposed to answer by saying what I would like someone else to do. Since I go to a Christian language school we talk about God a lot, so I thought I would say that I hope at the end of my life God will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
Now, I know how to say "good job" and "you finished well" in Spanish, but not exactly "well done." So I looked it up in my Spanish online translator and it said, "Bien cocido." Now, if I had thought for two seconds, I would have realized this was not the type of "well done" I was looking for, but I was in a hurry to finish the assignment and this was the last question.
As we shared in class, I responded to the question:
"Yo tengo la esperanza de que al final de mi vida Dios me diga, "Bien cocido! Mi serviente fiel." Basically, "I hope that at the end of my life God will say, "Well-done little steak, my faithful servant."
The Spanish teacher looked at me with a funny face, "I don't understand, bien cocido?" And I told her I put well done in my translator...and as I'm saying it...I and the rest of the class realize that this type of well done refers to meat, not a job well done!
We laughed for a good five minutes! How humbling this process of learning a new language is!
This past weekend was the long-awaited, long-anticipated (at least for me) Young Life Spring semester leader retreat to fellowship and plan for this upcoming semester. I worked for countless hours the last couple of weeks helping to plan the schedule, training sessions, planning sessions, and some logistics. Don't get me wrong, I had some awesome help from Josh, our intern, and Boo, the Tico guy I work with. However, Jessie (my supervisor and area director) has been in the States for several weeks for Young Life training and so I felt the weight of the weekend falling on my shoulders.
Like the best laid plans, they sort of crumbled. Unfortunately, we had some leaders back out at the last minute (and others who couldn't come originally) and so we had FAR fewer numbers than anticipated, which was a little disappointing for a number of reasons. Not the least of those reasons was I was looking forward to some great team-building time. But God always has something up His sleeve, and I was blessed more than I can say by those who were able to come. We were able to not only plan 95% of what needed to be planned, but also have some great time just hanging out.
I laughed a lot. We played football and watched a movie. I got some awesome girl talk time in with one of my favorite ladies here. And we planned 15+ Young Life and WyldLife clubs, among other things. Score: 1 for God, .5 for Ali (I did manage to get over my disappointment and jump into what GOD had planned for the weekend faster than normal, so I get half a point :)
Okay, on to part 2: My latest Spanish language snafu. The task was to answer this question:
"Que esperanza tiene usted?"
"What hope/wish do you have?"
Because of the type of verb we were studying, I was supposed to answer by saying what I would like someone else to do. Since I go to a Christian language school we talk about God a lot, so I thought I would say that I hope at the end of my life God will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
Now, I know how to say "good job" and "you finished well" in Spanish, but not exactly "well done." So I looked it up in my Spanish online translator and it said, "Bien cocido." Now, if I had thought for two seconds, I would have realized this was not the type of "well done" I was looking for, but I was in a hurry to finish the assignment and this was the last question.
As we shared in class, I responded to the question:
"Yo tengo la esperanza de que al final de mi vida Dios me diga, "Bien cocido! Mi serviente fiel." Basically, "I hope that at the end of my life God will say, "Well-done little steak, my faithful servant."
The Spanish teacher looked at me with a funny face, "I don't understand, bien cocido?" And I told her I put well done in my translator...and as I'm saying it...I and the rest of the class realize that this type of well done refers to meat, not a job well done!
We laughed for a good five minutes! How humbling this process of learning a new language is!
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