Superar

Superar = to overcome.  I don't know that I've shared much about being robbed a few months ago and almost being robbed again a second time a month after that.  And even if I had shared, I've been doing some more processing lately and it's been super (pun intended--superar) helpful in reaching a healthier perspective on some aspects of my life here in Costa Rica.  (If you have heard this all before, skip down to--"And tonite...")

At first, I was determined to not let these things affect me.  I'm strong, it wasn't that big of a deal, it really is a safe country--not like I live in the Middle East, other people have far bigger problems, etc.  And they are all lies!  Lies and arrows (for more on this read my soon-to-be-written blog on the book, The Sacred Romance.)  But one thing that a counselor I have been talking to about this has helped me to realize is that when women are robbed it effects them on a different level than men.  Women experience the assault as a violation, something that was taken away from them.  Not the material thing, but perhaps a sense of vulnerability and loss of security.  One thing I've loved about the Spanish language here is that when you talk of being robbed, you say, "Fui asaltada," or "I was assaulted."  Now, in English this may have a stronger physical connotation meaning you weren't just pick-pocketed or a material item taken from your personal possession, but that there was a level of violence associated with the robbery.  The Spanish translation of this, however, has allowed me to feel a deeper sense of communicating how this affected, and continues to affect, me.

So what has been hard is I still struggle with my desire to be a strong, independent woman who has now been robbed (or asaltada) not once, but almost twice in the last four months.  (The second being the more "violent" of the two with a knife involved, though I was not hurt and nothing was stolen, gracias a Dios...thanks be to God!)  How do you reconcile the desire to be independent with the fear, anxiety, paranoia, and yes, let's be honest, anger, that I now carry with me most days?  Cindy, the counselor, has helped me to see that a lot of it comes from facing the problem head on, talking myself through emotions and situations, leaning on the hope and security I have in God, and finally time.  Just time.

And tonite, I was blessed to feel a new sense of superando, overcoming!  Because God has blessed me financially and has been teaching me about good stewardship of money, I was able to dip into my savings a bit to replace my phone that was stolen.  When a good girlfriend here was robbed recently, God laid it on my heart to help her replace a higher cost item that was stolen from her.  I knew that it would take her a very long time to replace this item, and because God had blessed me, I wanted to be able to bless her.  She actually was the first person I talked to right after I was robbed and was an amazing friend in that moment, as she continues to be!

And guess what she shared with me tonite?  She was able to use the item as she shared her faith story (testimony) today.  SOBERANDO...overcoming!  What an amazing testimony to God's goodness and how He uses bad, ugly, hard, hurtful things for good, making beauty from ashes!

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So then, don't be afraid, I will provide for you!"  -Genesis 50:20-21 (Joseph speaking through God's strength)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose...What then shall we say in response to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?"  -Romans 8:28, 31

And if God can take these hurtful, violating experiences both I and my friend endured, and turn them into something that blesses others and speaks of His faithfulness and goodness, then what more can He do IN ME?!

"He has sent me to...comfort all those who mourn...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."  -Isaiah 61:1b, 3b

He can take my ashes, my brokenness and failures and turn them into something beautiful.  He can give me joy and uplift my heart to praise Him, even when I mourn the loss of a sense of security and independence.  And even when I despair that the frustration, fear and anger will always be with me as I continue to face men on the street daily, He wants to make me like an oak tree, strong and solid.

God, and only God, will redeem these things even as "He tears me down on every side till I am gone; He uproots my hope like a tree," and likewise as I am "hard-pressed, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."  No, God is doing a new thing, creating new life!  And however much it stinks to be broken down, uprooted, hard-pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down....si, voy a superar...yes, I will overcome by His grace and power.  Gracias a Dios!  And until that day when I experience that freedom in full, I'll keep my eye on the prize and bask in the very good and healing things He is doing in my life and the lives of the ones both He and I love!

What's for dinner?

I had a very Costa Rican dinner last night, so I thought I would share!  It's a black bean soup with ham and boiled egg....and of course, rice...yummy!  Actually, it was pretty good.  My host mom is wonderful with spices, and although the mixture is a little different, the flavor was great :)