Starting off the year with KIDS DAY!

Wow, I've been a very delinquent blogger, but it's not for lack of being REALLY busy!  And I'm so happy to be REALLY busy because I'm really busy spending time with kids and it's what I love to do :)  We had our first Wyldlife of the school year on KIDS DAY a little over a week ago.  It's a national holiday here in Costa Rica and it's so awesome to see the whole country come together to promote the well-being of our future--kids!

One of the things I love the most about Young Life and Wyldlife is that we are all about kids being kids.  In this day when kids are asked to grow up WAY too fast--exposed to so many things WAY too early--and have seemingly forgotten how to just play, YL and WL are there to remind them that it's great being a kid.  In fact, it's CHILD-like faith that Jesus asks of us.  And how sweet is it to be able to provide a space where kids can just be kids and learn about what's really important in life.

Here are some pictures from our Wyldlife SNOWSTORM, yes it did snow in Costa Rica--it's snowed flour bombs, marshmallows, and shaving cream!  What fun!  And Jessie topped the night off with an introduction to what Wyldlife is and how God wants to fill us with abundant, overflowing life!

Simple.

So, I got a lot of flack on Facebook from my good friends Lauren and Graham about eating Froot Loops and listening to Taylor Swift while doing some Spanish homework.  It's okay, I can take the heat :)  But as I tuned into the Taylor Swift Pandora station here tonite I couldn't help but get caught up in this song.  (And for those of you wondering how I can get Pandora in another country, shoot me an email because I've become a mastermind at accessing content not available outside the US!)

So, the song is Never Grow Up.  Now you may not think much of Taylor--she's not the best singer out there, not the best songwriter out there, can be cheesy in interviews, etc.  BUT, I like how honest she is.  She really does sing from her heart (whatever you think of what's going on in her heart :)  And these lines caught me:

"Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up, I could still be little.  Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up, it could still be simple."

Simple.

Does anyone know what that is anymore?  As I look for a car and an apartment here in Costa Rica because I'll be moving to the other side of the city in the next month or two after finishing language school, I'm reminded of just how complicated being a "grown up" really is.  I have to consider safety, negotiate with savvy male car dealers, manage my budget, oh and still do everything else in my life at the same time.  Simple?  No.

My friend posted this dialogue on Facebook a few days ago:

Linus:  If you have some problem in your life, do you believe you should try to solve it right away or think about it for awhile?


Charlie Brown:  Oh, think about it, by all means!  I believe you should think about it for awhile.


Linus:  To give yourself time to do the right thing about the problem?


Charlie Brown:  No, to give it time to go away!

Hahahaha!  I just LOVE that.  Who doesn't want to give time for our problems to go away.  How many of us think that will actually work?  If I just walk away from this leaking sink and leave it be for some time, the leak might go away.  If I just leave my computer for awhile, the translation paper might just write itself.  Or better yet, if I just give my heart some time, I bet I can love this hard to love person.

Nope.  Doesn't work that way does it?  It's not simple.  It's complicated.  Very, very complicated.

I read this book awhile back called Big Girls Don't Whine.  I thought it might help with the whiny, complainy, I don't want to deal with it--side of me.  It really didn't.  Haha. But I've been struck ever since by the title.  Little girls (and boys) whine and cry when they don't get what they want, when someone won't share with them, when life gives them lemons, when they are tired or hungry or cold or angry.

I wish I had the luxury sometimes!  Wouldn't it be great?!  But what's even greater is what I see God doing in my heart.  How He's changing me from the inside out.  Drawing out that whiny, compainy, I don't want to deal with it--side of me through some really hard, tough, not fun, just plain complicated stuff in my life.  And each day He's showing me more that it's not Big Girls that don't whine, but HIS girls.  Because I'm HIS I can have joy and peace in the midst of the craziness of life.  It's right there, I just have to decide that being HIS girl is more important.

So while some days I still want to scream along with Taylor at the top of my lungs:  "Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up, I could still be little.  Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up, it could still be simple."--I try to hand that part of me over to the One who desires for me to really "grow up" in Him.  Here's to "growing up"!

May Newsletter and FLASH FLOOD!

Yep, folks, it's newsletter time.  If you didn't get it in your in-box and would like a copy, email me ali.c.campbell@gmail.com!

In other news, we recently had a flash flood at my house.  Thankfully nothing was really damaged, just some mild water damage on some things that were being stored in the covered garage area outside my house.  But the water rose so quickly (within 15 minutes!) we were afraid it wasn't going to stop!

After seeing a flash of lightning that seemed to fall right beside my bedroom window, I went out in the living room to find my host mom peering out the door...just then she exclaimed, "Ali!  Mire, mire!"  Ali, look, look!  We watched anxiously as the water rose and rose.  Then realized that as cars crazily continued to pass by our street, they created a near tidal wave of water that splashed up into the garage and was soaking some items stored behind the car.  So we hurriedly moved several boxes, two wood columns, and a chaise lounge into the house.

And then it was over as quick as it began and the water receded.  But take a look at some of these crazy pictures!

The water as it began to rise....

The water at its highest. The gate in the upper left-hand side of the picture 

is where the entrance to the garage is.  

A look down my street.  Notice the tree on the right that is half under water.  

The park on the left flooded as well.  There was probably five feet of water in 15 mins.

And the cars just kept coming, even with water over their headlights 

and up to the windows.

But this car just couldn't make it.

Evidence of poor judgement on the part of drivers.  One man came

back to claim his license plate, which are apparently incredibly hard to replace!

Superar

Superar = to overcome.  I don't know that I've shared much about being robbed a few months ago and almost being robbed again a second time a month after that.  And even if I had shared, I've been doing some more processing lately and it's been super (pun intended--superar) helpful in reaching a healthier perspective on some aspects of my life here in Costa Rica.  (If you have heard this all before, skip down to--"And tonite...")

At first, I was determined to not let these things affect me.  I'm strong, it wasn't that big of a deal, it really is a safe country--not like I live in the Middle East, other people have far bigger problems, etc.  And they are all lies!  Lies and arrows (for more on this read my soon-to-be-written blog on the book, The Sacred Romance.)  But one thing that a counselor I have been talking to about this has helped me to realize is that when women are robbed it effects them on a different level than men.  Women experience the assault as a violation, something that was taken away from them.  Not the material thing, but perhaps a sense of vulnerability and loss of security.  One thing I've loved about the Spanish language here is that when you talk of being robbed, you say, "Fui asaltada," or "I was assaulted."  Now, in English this may have a stronger physical connotation meaning you weren't just pick-pocketed or a material item taken from your personal possession, but that there was a level of violence associated with the robbery.  The Spanish translation of this, however, has allowed me to feel a deeper sense of communicating how this affected, and continues to affect, me.

So what has been hard is I still struggle with my desire to be a strong, independent woman who has now been robbed (or asaltada) not once, but almost twice in the last four months.  (The second being the more "violent" of the two with a knife involved, though I was not hurt and nothing was stolen, gracias a Dios...thanks be to God!)  How do you reconcile the desire to be independent with the fear, anxiety, paranoia, and yes, let's be honest, anger, that I now carry with me most days?  Cindy, the counselor, has helped me to see that a lot of it comes from facing the problem head on, talking myself through emotions and situations, leaning on the hope and security I have in God, and finally time.  Just time.

And tonite, I was blessed to feel a new sense of superando, overcoming!  Because God has blessed me financially and has been teaching me about good stewardship of money, I was able to dip into my savings a bit to replace my phone that was stolen.  When a good girlfriend here was robbed recently, God laid it on my heart to help her replace a higher cost item that was stolen from her.  I knew that it would take her a very long time to replace this item, and because God had blessed me, I wanted to be able to bless her.  She actually was the first person I talked to right after I was robbed and was an amazing friend in that moment, as she continues to be!

And guess what she shared with me tonite?  She was able to use the item as she shared her faith story (testimony) today.  SOBERANDO...overcoming!  What an amazing testimony to God's goodness and how He uses bad, ugly, hard, hurtful things for good, making beauty from ashes!

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So then, don't be afraid, I will provide for you!"  -Genesis 50:20-21 (Joseph speaking through God's strength)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose...What then shall we say in response to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?"  -Romans 8:28, 31

And if God can take these hurtful, violating experiences both I and my friend endured, and turn them into something that blesses others and speaks of His faithfulness and goodness, then what more can He do IN ME?!

"He has sent me to...comfort all those who mourn...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."  -Isaiah 61:1b, 3b

He can take my ashes, my brokenness and failures and turn them into something beautiful.  He can give me joy and uplift my heart to praise Him, even when I mourn the loss of a sense of security and independence.  And even when I despair that the frustration, fear and anger will always be with me as I continue to face men on the street daily, He wants to make me like an oak tree, strong and solid.

God, and only God, will redeem these things even as "He tears me down on every side till I am gone; He uproots my hope like a tree," and likewise as I am "hard-pressed, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."  No, God is doing a new thing, creating new life!  And however much it stinks to be broken down, uprooted, hard-pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down....si, voy a superar...yes, I will overcome by His grace and power.  Gracias a Dios!  And until that day when I experience that freedom in full, I'll keep my eye on the prize and bask in the very good and healing things He is doing in my life and the lives of the ones both He and I love!

What's for dinner?

I had a very Costa Rican dinner last night, so I thought I would share!  It's a black bean soup with ham and boiled egg....and of course, rice...yummy!  Actually, it was pretty good.  My host mom is wonderful with spices, and although the mixture is a little different, the flavor was great :)

Newsletter and thoughts for today

It's newsletter time!  If you'd like a copy and are not on my email list, please email me and I'll send one right over!  (ali.c.campbell@gmail.com)

So, thought for today:  I've lost a lot coming to Costa Rica.  I've lost my beautiful Jeep Cherokee Sport.  I've lost day to day life with my family, friends and Young Life kids in Westfield.  I've lost the ability to get Taco Bell at 1 a.m.  I've lost the freedom to go wherever, whenever, with whomever I want.  I've lost a sense of stability.  I've lost a sense of security.  I've lost a sense of blissful ignorance.  I've lost some independence.  I've lost some financial "freedom."  I've lost the ability to choose what I want to wear.  I've lost a lot.

But I've gained Jesus.  Now to some that might sound corny and to others a little crazy.  But it's really true.  Here's a bit from a study I'm doing right now:

"We are so oriented to a quick response we abandon the word from God long before He has developed our character...When you make the adjustments and start to obey Him, you come to know Him by experience.  This is the goal of God's activity in your life--that you come to know Him."

In my life in the U.S., I think I often sought a quick response from God and in the process missed wonderful opportunities for Him to develop my character.  But not here, there is nothing quick about life here and there is nothing quick about the pace of ministry.  And as I've started to make some adjustments and obey Him even when it seems crazy or a waste of time, I've come to know Him through experience.

Through experiencing God more and more each day.  So yes, I've lost a lot.  And some days the scales seem unbalanced and I focus more on that than what I'm gaining.  And I pray on those days, this would be my strength:


But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him...


Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


-Phillipians 3:7-9a, 12-14

I can't help but share....

...sometimes I can't decide the purpose of this blog.  Why do I write?  To share how God is moving through Young Life Costa Rica, to update those of you who pray for and support the way He's changing lives, to journal my thoughts, to learn...who knows!

But tonite, I can't help but share, so I guess tonite this is my journal.  Because God's teaching me so much, and showing me so much, and bringing clarity to unclear things.  And He's doing that through some pretty AMAZING women.

So first, Katie, who has the amazing privilege of being a mother to 14 children in Africa and work through her organization, Amazima, to bring food, healing and love to an entire community.  She's AMAZING not for what she does...though it's incredible...but for WHO she is and what God is doing in her.  Allow me to quote from her blog (kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com):

"And it hurts from the moment I wake up until the moment my head hits the pillow."  I hear you sister!

"But in the hard I see the healing.  In the mess of it all, I see the redemption."  YES!  Yes, and I want to see it more and more each day!

"One step forward.  Two steps back.  And He doesn't let go.  He doesn't let go...The thing is this is real life and so there is this huge grey area in the middle and that's where we are living."

"He always provides, exactly enough, exactly what is needed.  He asks me to take this next step and I protest, 'but I don't have enough!'  Not enough grace, not enough love, not enough strength, not enough time.  And the widow reminds me to be faithful anyway [1 Kings 17].  Of course I do not have enough! But I have Jesus and He, He is always enough."  I feel that way so many days...I don't have enough energy, I don't have enough patience, I don't have enough love.  God, help me to remember that You are MORE THAN ENOUGH.

"I give Him....hurt that draws us closer."  May I always give HIM my hurt!  BECAUSE...

"In light of eternity, nothing else matters."  Nothing, absolutely nothing, that seems important, or annoying, or painful, or downright unjust matters in light of eternity.

--AND--

"I can trust God.  I look at my life and I see the miracles and because of what I know, I can trust Him for what I don't know.  Because of what I've seen, I can trust Him when I can't see."  I can't see, God.  I can't see the solution to all the hard, hurtful things in my life.  I can't see the end.  I can't see the answers. I can't see a way out.  I can't see an easy day.  I can't see...but because of what I've seen, I can trust Him.

FINALLY...

"When I don't know what else to be, I am thankful."  Oh, that this would be true of me!  Oh, that this would be my attitude each day!  Oh, that I would embrace a lifestyle of thanksgiving!

I've been reading Lamentations 3 a lot lately and I'm struck by this...

"And why would anyone gifted with life, complain when punished by sin." -v. 9  Praying today to embrace God's correction, His teaching, His immense PATIENCE and MERCY in my life.

I've been reading this book called "Dancing on My Ashes:  Learning to love the One who gives and takes away" and it's teaching me so much about loss and healing.  Today, I read:

"When I was wounded, I thought I had to forget my wounds existed so I could heal.  I waited to feel untouched, unhurt, undamaged, and unharmed in any way.  My wounds started to heal, but they left these ugly scars in their place.  I learned that proof of our healing is in our scars.  Jesus carried around proof of His wounds in His nail-scarred hands and sword-pierced side, and because of His scars, I see the significance in my own.  Our scars give us opportunity to remember.  It's not about obsessing over our past, or the opposite, acting as if our wounds never existed; it's about remembering them.  I'm not wounded anymore.  Scarred?  Yes...But these scars represent the promise of healing."

WOW!  It's as if she spoke (or God spoke!) right into my life.  There are scars in my life that I hate.  I want to feel untouched, unhurt, undamaged, unharmed.  But the scars are proof that the wound is healed.  Proof that God truly has touched those places in my life and healed them.  The scar scares me...because it's permanent, or because it reminds me of past pain or mistakes, or because I fear the future...but what a different perspective she has!  I pray that I can view my scars as she does.

And finally, I've been drawn to the book of Job lately.  Through this book, but through other things too.

"He tears me down on every side until I am gone."  Job 19:10

Until I am gone.  I'm learning to find joy in the midst of this process.  I'm learning to find peace in the midst of the pain.  I'm learning that this is God's good, pleasing and perfect will in my life.  And nothing else matters in light of eternity.