This month marks four years in Costa Rica! WOW! I remember four months into my time here…the "honeymoon" stage was ending. Walking kilometers in the rain was no longer glamorous. I wasn't sure I would EVER speak Spanish well. I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere and I wasn't sure what I really had to offer teens here.
What a difference four years makes! I still hate walking kilometers in the rain. I have days I feel out of place and unprepared to handle the big, heartbreaking issues these teens face daily. And I'm about to experience my biggest challenge in Spanish yet (see below). And I'm so incredibly BLESSED! The past four years have been a roller coaster of experiences and emotions, and I honestly wouldn't trade a single minute.
I'm not the same girl who stepped on a plane August 2010 wide-eyed, passionate and hopeful. Many days I am somber confronting the realities of ministry and life in the slums/inner-city San Jose. I am much more cautious, the idealism has been worn down by being robbed/assaulted four times, passing through spiritual/emotional battles I thought I might not live to tell about, and discouragement and disappointment in ministry I never imagined experiencing.
In every single moment I have found God to be more REAL and more FAITHFUL than I could have ever dreamed. There was a worship conference at my church here a couple of weeks ago and a band from the US called "Loud Harp" came down. I fell in love with their music and this line from one of their songs is on repeat in my heart: "The nearness of You is my only good." God is nearer to me each day, each minute here. And it is the only GOOD I know.
So this weekend as I face one of the biggest challenges yet in Spanish since I moved down here--leading three workshops (6 hours!) at a retreat for over 50 missionaries who are part of the organization Christ for the City that oversees the project I work with in La Carpio--I know that it is just one more opportunity to see God move in amazing ways, to prove himself even more REAL, FAITHFUL and so GOOD.
Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant;
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.
-Psalm 73
